John and Tracy Connolly

New Year, New Life, New Us!

2010-01-27T20:58:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. I said it before that I would keep this blog up. Looking at all the friends I am connected to on their blogs, it looks like we all started getting really busy at the beginning of the fall last year and we are still trying to catch up on these things!

Well, I am not in a contest and this is not going to be one of those famous blogs that turns into a movie like "Julie & Julia", so I'm not sweatin' it ; ) but I do want to keep up and start recording a major new development in our lives....our shrinking bodies!!! John and I have been on a roller coaster of weight gain and loss for a few years now and it is finally here.....40!! The big milestone of life where you either buy a sports car and/or divorce (we don't believe in "mid-life crisis'") and since we don't have the money or desire for either, we have turned to God and asked for the strength to get this stuff off once and for all!!! And we are doing it! : )

Since the start of the new year, John has lost 14lbs. and I have lost about the same. We are eating right and it doesn't feel like a chore any more! We are starting to add exercise too and even though we have been battling a few colds and sicknesses the last couple weeks, we still feel healthier and can tell a major difference in our attitudes toward the process compared to times we've done this in the past.

We are going to start taking pictures and I will post them soon. So stay tuned (if you are even there) and hold on because this is going to be an extreme change and we want to inspire you (if you need some inspiration or encouragement) to take care of yourself too! There is only one you, and God wants us to love ourselves just as much as He wants us to love others!!

See you again soon..........

8-21-1975

2009-08-21T11:56:00.000-07:00

Today would have been my sister Mandy's 34th birthday. One month from today will be 2 years since her passing.

It is really strange to write those words out. It's even more strange to outlive a younger sibling.

Mandy was my constant shadow growing up. She was 5 years younger than me and I always ended up being her babysitter when my parents needed someone to watch her. I resented it for a long time, but as we got older, we started to get along better. We had good times and bad, but we really became good friends the last 5 years of her life when she moved to Pensacola, Florida with us.

It's a long and complicated story, and I have written in my personal journals about her. Most of our friends know of her past and what happened to her. She used drugs among many other things. She wasn't perfect and I am not either. But no matter what we loved each other, even when we didn't want to.

Mandy taught me about unconditional love and I will always be proud she is my sister. I miss her every day. I look forward to the day I can hug her again.

Happy Birthday, Sweetie. Love, Tracy

mandy & me 1990

Headin' West!

2009-08-19T18:40:00.003-07:00

I didn't realize how the time has flown the last couple weeks. I think it was the very next day after the last post that we found out that we got the OK to move to Vancouver, Washington. So we are heading west on September 11th!

We have secured an apartment already, have the truck rented and help from friends on the day we move our stuff out of storage and hit the road.

All the months and weeks we pondered this possibility are now over and this is really happening! It is just almost too good to be true, but it is finally here and we are just excited beyond words!

3 weeks and 2 days and counting!!! We will post the pics of the trip to Colorado to see John's grandparents and our travels through Utah and up to our new home in Vancouver when we get there!

Caleb our cat (1994-2009)

2009-07-27T09:28:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since my last post. I was hoping to keep up on this a little better, but daily chores and life always seems to get in the way. I won't promise to keep up on this, however, I see more time to do that ahead.

Last Monday was a pretty trying day for me and John. We had to put our cat Caleb down. He was our family pet for 15 years and really was sort of a "place holder" for us until we had children. John wrote that to a friend this week and it really put on paper exactly how we feel. I think that is why this is so hard for us. For the last few years he wasn't as much of a "place holder" for a child for me anymore. He was as much a part of our family as any child could have been and we called each other "mommy" and "daddy" when we talked to him (I know, it's sounds totally cheezy, but other pet owners will understand this) : )

He had been sick off and on for the last few years. We even scheduled him to be put down the day after Thanksgiving last year, but he seemed to bounce back in his health. But last week we knew he was headed back down the same cycle of sickness and he was just not having a good quality of life. We made decisions for him just as if he was a child. We did the very best we could for him. And we thank God for bringing him into our lives and making it much brighter : )

Caleb was not planned, he just showed up with his brothers and sisters in a box in John's warehouse at Hill Air Force Base, Utah back in 1994. We had just returned to the states from Japan only after being there a year. We returned to Utah to be closer to my dad and family. My dad was in the end stages of emphysema and I really wanted to be with him. And John gave up his career in broadcasting to be an F-16 parts manager at Hill so I could be there for him.
That was my focus at the time. John called one afternoon from work and told me there was this cute kitten who had no home and could he bring him home. I said "no" because we were living at my parents home. But in "John" style, he brought the kitten home anyway. He was as big as John's hand, black and white all over just like Sylvester the cat. And the most adorable thing I had ever seen (next to John)! There was no way I could say no now. So we trained him and took pictures right away, just like "real" parents to babies do. We were hooked! And so began a 15 year roller coaster life with Caleb.

I will let John write more a about Caleb. He tells the stories much better than me : )

On another life changing note...we are waiting to hear from John's company for the 100% OK to move out of state. We are going to move to the Vancouver/Camas/Washougal, Washington area in September when all is settled. We want to be closer to our parents and family and are looking forward to this change. Tennessee has been great and we've met a lot of great people who will always be friends. But we are ready to start the next chapter of our lives back west!

More to come on that.....

New Year, New Path

2009-02-08T12:13:00.001-08:00

Hello Friends!

Not sure how many people will see this, but I just thought I should update this since it's been 3+ months since I've written here.

One of my goals this year it to simplify life even more for John and myself. We've downsized, purged, organized and sifted through pretty much everything we own and manage. We really want to be ready at a moments notice for any changes in our lives.

Here is the latest and I promise to keep up better here...so please stop by often!

We sold the condo on 12/29/2008 and we are still living with the couple who I take care of their son and things are going really great here. Caleb (our kitty) is doing better health wise and we are staying the course to get our debt paid off.

Blessings for a wonderful 2009!
Tracy, John & Caleb

Up to date!!!

2008-10-02T13:50:00.000-07:00

It has been 4 months since my last post. A lot has happened and here is a mass email I sent out with all the details so far....

Life has been crazy the last four months, but it also has been amazing to watch the Lord work in His wonderful ways and see right before our eyes the transformation our lives are going though!

We put our condo up for sale at the end of July. We did have one offer after 4 days, but a week before closing at the end of August they backed out. So we are still waiting on that. We put it up for sale due to the following events. Long story short, some very good friends of ours had a baby 4 months ago, needed daycare for him, didn't feel comfortable with anyone and had to go back to work after the 4th of July weekend, I offered to watch him, but we lived too far away. The couple asked if we wanted to move in with them. We could move in and work on paying off our debt in exchange for watching their son for the next year or so. We tested it for a while and now we've moved in with them. We all think this is what Jesus was really talking about when He said "bear one another's burdens"! John and I felt if we couldn't manage on the income we had with our debt load, maybe we should hold off fostering or adopting children for a year or so. God answered all our prayers and with this situation we should be out of debt within 18 months! Praise God!!
Also, we never heard from the state about our home study. Before we moved in with this couple, I called them and they said they are backlogged and had no one to do the home study. We know this is the Lord asking us to wait. And we are totally at peace with this.

So, there it is. The whole story. Soon, I will post some pics of the little boy, Elijah, I am watching. He is such a joy!
We'll talk to you soon!

Vacation and Home Study

2008-06-17T19:30:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a quiet month since we last posted. We've just been enjoying the summer laying by the condo pool (love that perk here!) and just taking our time preparing the house for children. No stress! A great way to start this process for us :)

We are going to John's 20th high school reunion in South Florida this week and when we return, we have our 1st appointment for our home study finally!

We were given a list of things to baby proof the house because we asked for children between the ages of 0-6. So we headed to the store to pick up the door handle protectors, kitchen door thingy's and locks for cabinet doors. It is very funny to see two grown adults not get into to lock they just put on the cabinet to keep out children (LOL) :) So, we are pretty much set for the first interview.

We are looking forward to some relaxation in Florida along with catching up with John's aunt, uncle and cousins along with his classmates. We'll post some pictures of the trip when we return and have more to post about the interview.

Now...we wait

2008-05-26T10:55:00.000-07:00

Well, we completed the PATH Class and we are waiting on a few things before actually taking children into our home.

First, the DCS has to complete our home study. The class is done, but we are not approved as a foster home until they have done a check of our home and they have interviewed us (together and separately). This should be finalized within 60 days.

Second, we need to complete our medical physicals and we are looking for a doctor on our insurance to do this.

There are a few other factors we are weighing and looking for solutions for. We have one vehicle (a two passenger truck) and obviously we need a family size car. The truck is almost paid off and we were hoping to have a few months of no car payments to pay off another bill, build up our savings, and a few other things. We are praying about it all and we'll see if the home study tells us any other things we need and to prepare for.

I thought I would be in such a rush to get this done and move forward with an adoption process and/or fostering children, but there are so many things to consider and everyone's life is full of different challenges and we just want to be prepared. The child's life is going to come with so much stress already. We do not want any (if can be helped) stresses in our lives that can affect them. The class taught us to "self assess" all the time and we are really taking this to heart so we are sure we are ready for this undertaking.

On another subject...we are driving down to Homestead, FL. for John's 20th high school reunion the weekend of June 21 (pray for gas prices to stop rising!). We'll stay with his aunt and uncle and see a few of his cousins while we're there too. It will be fun finally meeting some of John's family after 16 years of marriage! : ) He has a huge family and they are spread out all over the U.S. When we moved to Tennessee, we didn't even know he had a cousin living only an hour away!

We also are planning to visit my family in Utah and try to make it to see John's family in Washington this fall. It has been quite some time since we have visited our families and we feel this would be a good time before we dive into fostering.

We know there is a plan here and trust that God will bring it all together in the right time for the right children. Please pray with us to be aware of His leading in it all.

Into the Unknown

2008-05-14T08:35:00.000-07:00

Well, here we go into the great unknown as we approach our last class this coming Saturday!

The last class will be tying everything together we have learned the last five weeks. John and I do feel as equipped as we can be at this point. The rest is just going to have to be "hands on" experience.

We started a private online Facebook group (for confidentiality reasons) with the other resource parents in the class so we have a built-in support group from the onset. I think we all feel we will need help in this endeavor at some point. : )

We still have some things that need to be done on our checklist and we also need to wait for the state to come to do our home study. All in all, this has been a smooth beginning to what we are sure will be an exciting ride. Just like a roller coaster, right? : )

Please keep praying for the process to take God's course and timing and for strength to help these children.
Thank you all so much for your love and support!

Rounding Toward Home Plate

2008-05-07T15:35:00.000-07:00

We are on the home stretch with the class. We have about 70% of the homework done and we are down to the last few "things-to-do" on our list. After last Saturday, we have a better idea of how we might choose to serve the children who are coming into, or are already in, the system.

We talked about our home, and our life, and we think we will start off as an emergency and respite home. This means that children who first come into the system, and are likely very shocked at the fact that they are not with their family, would possibly come here. Also, some children are in between homes and need a place to stay for a week or two.

Being a respite home will give other Foster Parents a place to bring their children for 2 to 4 days so they can take a break and have some "me" time.

We do well adapting to new children and think we could help ease the pain of transition for some of them. Pray for us and the children to have as positive a life changing encounter as possible while we serve them.

On a second note, we are not stopping the alternative route of adopting through the system, but we are going to roll with it as we learn how all that works.

Philosophically, as we learn more about what this process of foster parenting is all about, we encourage anyone with an open room and desire to help children to give it a shot. I can see now that it challenges us to deal with our own hang-ups and unresolved pain so we can be a healthy family for these children even if it is only for 2 days. We use this workbook I developed to help us change for the better in this regard: Lasting Peace Now.

Two more classes left! More to come...

Half Over

2008-04-28T12:46:00.000-07:00

We have to admit, after last weeks class we didn't know if we were cut out for the heavy load of foster parenting. There are so many factors that come with a child separated from their family and it is something that cannot be taken lightly.
However, this week we've learned that with enough patience, understanding and a true servant's heart we can be successful foster parents for the benefit of the children.
We still have a lot of homework to do and we will be sharing on here pictures and other things when they are complete.
We welcome your thoughts and comments here and appreciate all your support during this time of preparation for integrating children into our lives.

Second Week of Class

2008-04-21T20:08:00.000-07:00

Just about everyone from last week showed up to the second session of the classes. We had a couple more people join in, and one person making up a class that day. The whole day was about understanding, in even greater detail, the pain and suffering the children are going through. We discussed a movie that shows some of the specific difficulties foster parents often have with children from the system.

These children are so traumatized in many cases that their survival behavior can be extreme. They also take much of their frustration out on the foster parents just because they can. The trainers painted a picture of giving love, support, energy and finances and often not getting anything in return not even a smile or thank you. We automatically tried to identify how we might have done this in the past to kind of see if we are up for this level of giving. We began to really gain a sense of this from the time we tried to help a family member who passed away recently. We think that experience trained us to some degree to handle the stress with patience and wisdom.

The homework is piling on but we are keeping up with it. We have to write our autobiographies over the next few weeks based on interview questions. These are tough questions about our families. But I am sure we can get through it. We still think we can do this as a result, so we are going to go ahead and do more of the homework this week and attend the third session.

First Class

2008-04-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we attended the first of the series of "Parents As Tender Healers" (PATH) classes to help prospective foster parents determine if and how they should continue down this road. It was a long day of learning about the "system" that the children are placed in when the authorities are called in on very abusive and neglectful parents. The stories are disheartening. It is a sad state of affairs that there is need for a whole set of government agencies to disband families with a basic disregard for a child's basic human needs.

I am glad that there are people, like the ones we met yesterday, willing to help these children. I noticed that the group was very interested in learning how to best relate to these children and the challenges are many. We think though that we are going to be able to help the right children at the right time so we are going to continue on and learn all we can.

The Learning Curve

2008-04-11T16:38:00.000-07:00

We are taking a drive around the learning curve starting tomorrow. We are going to start attending the DCS course on "Foster Parenting" and the class is short. Only 6 Saturdays. We are going to spend 7 hours on four of those days and 3 hours on the last two.

Fortunately the classes are just down the street so we are really close and don't have to spend $20 in gas to get there!

We hope to learn more about how the process works and especially how we can really help some children out with a loving home. We are curious how the process works and this is the way to learn. We look forward to seeing what lies ahead of this step and we will keep everyone posted on how well we are doing adjusting to having children in the home after such a long time being childless.

First Steps

2008-04-09T19:46:00.000-07:00

We want to be able to keep you all up to date on our jouney to become parents through the Tennessee Department of Child Services Foster to adopt process. We literally are in the first stages and want you to be a part of this adventure with us! So let us begin with what has happened so far...

We sent in our paperwork a few weeks ago and after a week or so, the envelope was returned undeliverable. We were a little concerned, but found out the offices had moved recently and found the proper place to resend it to. They had just sent us older paperwork. Hopefully this is not a precursor to how things will be with them in the future, but we are just going to roll with it.

Today we got a call from DCS to advise us of the class times we could start taking for Foster Care. They said there is a class that starts THIS Saturday and will only take 6 weeks to complete because it is an all day class. John and I agreed we would like to start classes now and get the process started. So now we are starting class in 3 days! I am excited and scared at the same time (I think John is too) because reality is setting in that we are really going ahead with this process!

I think the biggest change will just be adapting to having someone ELSE around here in the house other than our cat! LOL! We have sort of settled into having time to ourselves and go on spontaneous outings and such. But at the same time, I am so glad we are in the middle of a new chapter in our lives! Being in our late 30's, we have made a lot of mistakes and are a little wiser for having this time to experience life and now can really enjoy knowing parenthood is something we really want to embrace. Hopefully (and prayerfully) we are ready for the challenge.